Hi!

I was in a B-A-D mood this morning all because Chris told me I had to get up and take him to work. haha. I'm fine now...coffee does wonders to me, I swear!

Anyways, we dropped Chris off at work, then I went to the bank, grabbed a coffee and breakfast sandwich for Jonathan, Chris and myself, went to Chris' work to give it to him and hope that Jonathan could get paid, then came home and did usual morning stuff for Paul.

Chris and Paul will be taking Jonathan home tonight so he can go to the wedding. Jonathan's the best man in is friend's wedding tomorrow :) It's exciting. They should be back in time to take me home from work. *crosses fingers*

Yesterday, my work shift was soooooooo borring, it was great! I just wish I had known that DE would be leaving as soon as I got there, so I could have brought a book or something to do. Our two guys who cause the most trouble, went away on vacation for the weekend, so they were gone when I got there. It was amazing how quiet the house was. It was fabulous!

I spoke with TR about afew things that I had to discuss with her, and then I mentioned that B had suggested I ask for a transfer somewhere else, and I asked her opinion, b/c she has the inside scoop on things, if it was a good idea or not. She advised me against it, and that is what I am going to do. I am for sure keeping my eyes open and my heart open to the universe to see where life will lead me now for another job path. I think that in 6 months time I will be working somewhere else in the city, that has steadier hours, or a few more hours and I will make the same amount at least, as I do right now. That's my plan.

Anyways, that's my news. Leave a note :)

Hi.

I still have no answers. This sucks. lol However, on a good note, I contacted my friend, S, who does tarot readings. She's really good, and I haven't seen her in a long time. She's going to do a reading for me on Monday. I'm excited about it. Even if I don't get anything out of the reading itself, it will still be nice to see her, and to catch up. Plus, it couldn't hurt...I might get some eye sight in what to do.

Last night, Chris and I went to petsmart to get the cats some food b/c they were starving, and we ran out of food that morning. After we left, we went to see my co-worker, B, so Chris could say bye to her. She's been very good to the both of us and I like her a lot. She's going to really be missed. It hasn't even sunk in yet that she's leaving after today.

Anyways, she, Chris and I went outside to talk for awhile b/c the clients haven't been told that she's leaving yet. She told me that she'd talked to TR and found out that the ppl who were behind the whole thing with my work was RTS. Figures. I kinda knew that anyways. She wants me to write a letter requesting a transfer and send a copy to my superviser, the executive directer and TR. I told her that I didn't think it would help and that I wanted to just leave and find something else. Of course Chris put his two cents worth in and said his bit about the money. B actually sided with him! The nerve :P She thinks that the transfer would work. I don't...but I have thought about it, and it's worth a shot. I don't have any job prospects at the present time, so might as well try. She also thinks I should hold off on TTC2 for another 6 months b/c of how stressed I am.

I dunno. I'm lost.

Thanks for listening.

Hi.

Here is what I am wondering out loud. Should I look for a job now, and hope for the best, OR should I just stick this job out until I get pregnant and go on maternity leave, adn then when I am off, find something different?

I'm not sure what is the best course of action. I mean, if I got pregnant soon-ish then I would for sure just stick it out, but what if it takes me another 2 years to get pregnant and 9 months to bake? That's another almost 3 more years at this agency, in this position, with these hours. I'm honestly not sure I can do that.

People around my work who I am closest too, think I should just stick it out till I go on mat leave. They all think it won't take me near as long to get pregnant as it did the first time, but only time will tell with that. I'm not holding my breath. I mean, in an ideal world, I would love to find out I am pregnant near the end of the year (oct-Dec) to give myself some time, and to not be 9 months pregnant in the heat of the summer. but who knows? I could get pregnant next month, or two years from now. who knows?

Although, as a side note, I have to say that this time around, I really don't have a whole lot of time to concentrate and think about wanting to get pregnant. It's nice. I know it will happen some time. I have other things to worry about, like work and raising Paul for example. It's definatley different, and nice that it's not all I talk about to other ppl. I've mentioned that we're trying and that I am sure we will have a girl, but other than that, I don't talk about it.

However, Chris must be excited. He told Jonathan and Dan, under the condition they didn't breate a word to Chris' mom or sister, that we were in the process of ttc2. He never mentioned to anyone when we were trying for Paul until after we found out we were pregnant the first time. So, I think he must be excited about it or something! lol Chris is a critter.

On a side note, Paul found my materna vitamins, and he actually got the child resistant cap off the pills and dumped the pills on the floor. Fun times! I have to start watching where I put stuff now..haha.

Anyways, I am not sure what to do. I know another job will mean a cut in pay. I can't count on Chris actually finding another job b/c he won't it seems. He doesn't want me to change jobs b/c he is afraid of change and likes that I made such good money. I just want to do the right thing, but I can tell u this...I can't do this job much longer. I really can't.

Thank u for listening.

Hi.

I can't believe how tired I am right now and I have no reason to be this tired. I slept all night, but I didn't sleep well as I had nightmares all night. I guess I kept Chris awake too, which sucks.

Anyways, things are alright from this end. It's raining here so Paul and I won't be going anywhere. Chris has the car. We get it tomorrow, which will be nice. I am only going to go to see B and A in the afternoon anyways. It will still be nice to get out regardless.

Paul is teething again. Poor guy. I will be glad when he's finally done teething, but I know it will be a while longer yet. He's so adorable though.

M and B called me this morning to see how I was. I thought it was sweet of them. I have to go back to work the day after tomorrow. I'm not looking forward to it, but whatever. It's only for 4 days, no biggy, I can do it.

Tomorrow is Paul's birthday! He will officially turn 1 year old. I can't belive it...but I will wait and gush about it tomorrow. lol

Anyways, I am going to run. ttys Leave a note.

Hi.

Paul is having a difficult time going down for a nap it seems...so we will give it another go. I'm also working on laundry to pass the early morning hours :P

Today, Cheryl and I are going out for breakfast, being that she was origionally going to watch Paul for me so I could have my interview, I thought it only fitting to see if she wanted to still get together anyways. Which she said she did. SO we are meeting around 11am. She said she had a very eventful weekend. Her boyfriends, parents are divorcing and they are selling the house. That is the gist of it without getting into much detail. I was so shocked when she told me everything though b/c his parents have been together for 26 years. It's just crazy, there is of course other stuff, but it's personal.

I'm looking forward to breakfast. Then I also have to go to the bank sometime today, and we will probably go and see Chris for a few minutes, as well. Other than that, though, we'll just be chilling. I can't go and see B today b/c Mondays are always too busy, so maybe I will see if I can have the car on Wed.

So, I had a really nice weekend with Chris. We each got a morning to sleep in undisturbed. We even went to DQ and got a blizzard for a treat. We went for a wagon ride yesterday and Paul just loved it!!!!!!!! (except for one small part when Chris was crossing the street and there was more of a bump to get the wagon onto the sidewalk, so he had to jerk it a bit harder to get the wagon onto the sidewalk and the jerking motion scared paul. But it was short lived :)

I think I need to find a new job. Something different than what I am doing now. The only problem is that I make a very good income with the job that I have, and I have a good reputation with my co workers as well. I'd have to start over again. But I think now is probably a good time to start to see if I can find something different to do. I just don't want to take care of ppl in a group home setting any more. I have felt that way since I returned to work after my mat leave. It's just very difficult to take care of Paul and then go and take care of 5 other ppl who need me just as much when I am there. I just am not sure WHAT I want to do. I would love something with structured hours, where I don't have to work many weekends, if any at all, and I don't want to have to do something that involves personal care like I do now. But I want to do something important. I still want to help people. My back ground is in Social work, so it's a broad spectrum. I just don't know....

Over the weekend, I had phone calls and messages online from some of my co workers who heard what happened with my work, and every single one of them says that what is being said of me is completely untrue and that I deserve so much better than the treatment I am recieving from my superiors. I thought it was so nice of them. I also had a few co workers call me just to make sure I was alright. how sweet. I really like the people I work with, they are an amazing bunch. I'm very lucky in that aspect.

I know I need to move on from this. I have to go to work on Thursday and I have to be happy and I have to pretend like everything is okay, because we have a staff meeting first thing, and the person(s) who said those things about me, will be waiting for me to say something, and I don't want to give them the benefit of seeing me upset. I just don't know HOW I am going to do it yet. I'm really glad that I had the weekend off and that I get 6 days in total to cool down before I go back to work. I just havne't really cooled down yet and I am running out of time.

I have decided though to go to counselling. I think it would be a good idea for me. Maybe I will get some ideas on what to do or to see things differently. who knows? It's worth a shot.

Anyways, I am going to run and get ready to go for breaky.

Leave a note

Hi...

So my Sup called me yesterday and wants to meet with me today before I go into work for a follow up to the nosebleed incident. I have no idea why. He says it's no big deal, but it still has me a bit freaked out. Anyways, then I have my interview for B's position on Monday morning at 11am. Thank God, I was able to get Cheryl to come over and babysit b/c my sitter, my friend, my neighbour and chris all couldn't do it. I am so glad she is able to take care of Paul for me. I just have to pay her with taking her out for lunch. I can do that! lol

I've also lost my bank card. Can't find the friggin thing anywhere and I blame Chris. He, in his drunkin state, last Sat gave me my card at our neighbours house and I haven't seen it since. I have no idea where it is, and they said they can't find it in their house either. BAD news! So, I guess I have to run to the bank before I go to work, fer frigs sakes.

Last night, Chris went out and bought Paul's birthday presents. We got him a Thomas the train couch that pulls out into a sleeping bag bed and a little bike helmet with puppies on it. TOO cute! WE have it hiding in he spare bedroom.

So, for the interview I actually have to write down what our agency's strategic plan is, how I fit into it, and why I am the best candidate for the job. I am not worried about any of it cept for how to describe what our strategic plan is. I went to my work yesterday and looked thru all the binders, can't find a copy. I called TR back today and told her it wasn't at work, and she said to call my Sup and ask him for a paper copy to refer too. I left him a message, but it may have made me look bad. I don't even know if he will give me a copy or not. We'll see. I'm nervous about it.

Chris is going to be home by noon today, so that will be nice that I will get the opportunity to spend a little bit of time with him before I go into work. He's a nice guy. lol

Anyways, I am going to run now....leave a note.

Hi!

I'm sad. Yesterday, Paul and I went to visit B, my co worker and she informed me that she had to move up her quitting date from late July to mid June! She has 8 more shifts (after today) left :( I guess her hubby got transferred closer to where they are going to live, and he looked at the vacation schedual and the week of the 19th of June is open so he is coming back to Ontario to get her. B asked me to write up her letter of resignation for her and send it to the ED. (she hates typing on the computer, always has). So I did. Her last day is the Thursday before the 19th.

I'm REALLY going to miss her. I like her a lot, she's one of my favourite co workers. This isn't a surprise though...she said that 5 years from when I first met her that she would be moving permanently back to Nova Scotia, and it's been 4 years, so her dream is literally becoming reality now. It's crazy. I know I applied for her position because I love her schedual, the house she works in and her hours, but I would stay where I am if it meant she was staying. It's really sad :(

The application deadline to apply for her position is today. I figure I will get a call for an interview sometime tomorrow or Friday, for a date next week. Please keep your fingers crossed for me. I REALLY want the hours, schedual and to work at that house.

Anyways, that's it for now. Leave a note

Hi.

My day was not a good one yesterday. I had the worlds worst headache after I got out of my meeting. The only "good" thing really was my playdate with L and her baby in the morning, and going shopping with Chris and Paul after Chris' client. Then it all fell apart again...first, I went to my old work to apply for that position I was talking about bc it was posted now. Then I went to leave b/c I'd ordered dinner before I went to my old work and had to pick it up on my way home...well, doesn't my battery die in our new car? yep. Then I couldn't find our stupid battery charger. After 10 minutes of looking for it, I finally find and and discover I have to wait at least another 15 minutes for it to maybe work. So, it worked. I went and picked my my COLD dinner. Ate it. Then decided that I a nice bath would make me feel better. So I fill up the tub and discover that my period decided to show its ugly head. Then my bath was COLD. I couldn't even sit in it! I was so mad. So I just gave up and went to bed. Then this morning, i was doing the dishes and I sliced my index finger on a glass that broke in the water. fer frigs sakes.

My meeting is behind the cut for those who care:

( Read more... )

Now, tell me, was I really so wrong with what happened????

Hello

*annoyed*

I have to meet with my supervisor today :( I am not looking forward to this at all. You see, in a nutshell, last week a client of mine got a nose bleed because the nasal spray I was adminstering, fell out of my hand and I *think* it may have scraped the inside of her nose, causing the bleed. This client was not able to hold anything to stop the bleeding, so I was trying and TRYING to get it to stop. This client faught tooth and nail to get me away from touching the nose. The bleeding went on for awhile because this client wasn't cooperative at all and faught me all the way. When the nose bleed finally stopped, this client was left with a bruise on the nose, and several scratches and scrape like things over the face. It looked like I had beaten this client. (my perspective). I keep running the situation over and over in my head...was I too forceful? Do I remember ever touching her skin with my hands? Was I being abusive? What could I have done differently? The thing is...I may have been more forceful than was necessary when I became frusturated that she wasn't cooperating and this nose bleed was going on and on. I know I never scratched her with my hands b/c I didn't have gloves on and made a mental note to ensure my hands never touched her face. I don't think I could have done anything differently than I did in the situation. I couldn't just let her bleed all over the place. I did the best I could.

So, I know that the reason my supervisor wants to meet with me is because of that. I figure it is either to clarify what happened b/c I heard that the IA I wrote up wasn't very clear, or that I am in trouble. I am super worried about it and trying not to be. (because I have only spoken with my supervisor via voice mail b/c we keep missing each other, and he never said exactly what he wanted to talk to me about. It's not like we are buddies or anything like that...so this has to be what he wants to talk about). He said it would only be like a 10 to 15 minute conversation...so we'll see. I have Cheryl babysitting Paul for me. I meet him at 4pm today. I tried to get in earlier but he was busy with meetings and things.

I am not annoyed that I have to meet with my supervisor today. I am annoyed that I got called at home Mon and Tues from the same staff member and they all knew I was away for the long weekend and her attitude when I spoke with her was rediculus. I was not impressed. (she called to find out what happened to this client b/c she felt that it may have needed dr attention...it didn't...she just had to call the dr to get approval to use polysporin). I just don't get it...this girl calls me almost always whenever I have a few days off for something stupid that could have waited till I came back to work. I don't call her at home on her days off? BITCH.

However, it doesn't really matter now. Whatever. I don't really care. I am just going to go in and deal with what ever I am told or asked to do and leave. I have more important things going on in my life now. I have a son who needs me and I don't give a rats ass about work. NOPE. NONE.

That's my news. Wish me luck.

Hi

I hate breakfast sometimes. GGGRRRR. I ate an hour ago...yep. An.Hour.Ago. And I am STARVING!!! I had oatmeal and a coffee. IT was quite yummy. But I notice sometimes, that when I eat breakfast I am much more hungry than if I just skip it altogether. My stomach is growling and I am seeing stars I am so hungry. I have to say to everyone out there, wtf? lol

Anyway, on other news, things are going alright. I went back to work yesterday, and I called up B to see how she was and to tell her about a double bed that I'd found. (for my work client). She was telling me about when she leaves, (bc she's moving out east) she thinks that out of all the ppl she knows are applying for the position that I have the most seniority, work experience, etc etc. So, she thinks I should get it. She amuses me b/c that has nothing to do with it unless my supervisor decides to go that route. I will apply for it and keep my fingers and toes crossed that it will be for that other house that I love so much.

Then we figured out our finances...gestimates, based on my current rate of pay, with the extra hours and then worst case babysitting costs. (because we'd have to get a sitter...no matter what). It could cost us about 400.00/month for babysitting...at the most. I wouldn't be making much more after that than I am now. However, it's just a guess and we'd know more once I knew the rate of pay and the days I'd have to work. Chris thinks it would just be cheaper for him to go to PT and work only three days a week and only pay a sitter for one of those days. I dunno.

My hands are really dry...stupid hands..haha. Anyways, I am going to run for now. Leave a note

Hi!

Well, all is well in my household today. Chris got home last night at 8:50pm. He hurt his sore ankle by slamming it against a skid or a machine, don't know which so he could hardly walk when he got home. I suggested he have a bath (being that we live the life of luxury now) to help his foot. So he gets in the tub and is talking away, when all of a sudden Paul wakes up. Well, Chris jumped up, bubbles and all, quickly dried his self off and ran over to get Paul! It was so funny. (chris hasn't seen Paul since Sun night). When Paul realized it was daddy,he was all smiles and wanted to be hugged and hugged. adorable. After the Paul thing, he went back and finished his bath followed by a foot massage by me b/c his feet were still throbbing. yes, I can be nice sometimes :P

Today, Chris had to be at work for 7am, which is a bit better. So we didn't take the car. Paul woke up at 8:20am, and we went about our usual morning and things. I put him down for his nap and the little funny boycotter man boycotted his morning nap!!! haha. SO, we decided to go for a stroller ride and we went to mcdonalds for lunch. (well, I ate, Paul played. He had a good time and was very facinated by the grandma type lady beside us, and the man in the business suit across from us).

When we got back it was noon. So, I gave Paul his lunch and put him down for his nap. SO far, he's still sleeping. haha. Cheryl just called and she is going to come over for tea for around 3pm which is nice. I'm looking forward to that. :)

Anyways, that's my news for now. Leave a note.

Hi!

My baby is home again!!! I missed him SOOO much! I couldn't believe how much more grown up he looks compared to Wed when I dropped him off at my moms! He is just so cute!

Paul had a great time at Grandma's for vacation. He can't wait to come back and visit KC and Comet. I think he actually misses those dogs. However, Paul has adjusted well to being home again. Even if he got up before 6am for the day today. haha.

Mom and Lisa dropped Paul off around 2:30-ish. They stayed and visited till about 6pm. That was so nice. I really enjoyed their visit. I always do, but it was just so fun. I got to show Lisa our new place and she really loved it. She even gave Paul his nap time bottle for me. How adorable was that!

Chris made us a really nice breakfast and he is now out cutting grass for his clients. I am *hoping* he will be home by lunch. Paul is napping. This afternoon, weather premitting, we are going to go for a walk to the grocery store to get a few things. I want to get a big roast and potatos for supper in the slow cooker for tomorrow night, so that should be enough for Chris' lunch for the week, and a little something for dinner tonight.

Chris has to be at work for 5am tomorrow morning. That means he has to get up for 4am for the DAY! *uurgh* He thinks he will still be at work till between 9 and 10pm that night, and work close to the same hours on Tuesday as well. Hopefully he won't have to start till 7am though *crosses fingers, but not holding my breath*.

I won't have the vehicle Mon or Tues for sure, so I am not sure what our plans are going to be for those two days. Having the vehicle at least once during my days off when chris works really helps out. I normally like to have it on either mon or tues...oh well, I am sure we will come up with something :P

Anyways, I guess I should run for now. Leave a note.

I'm not going to work today. DE got coverage b/c she called me to see if I'd come in early for her b/c she's not feeling good either. but when she found out I wasnt feeling well either, she managed to find coverage for me too...which NEVER happens...weird.

I'm so glad I don't have to play mom today. I don't know how mom's do it when they aren't well.

I'm such a baby sometimes.

Leave a note.

After work today, I am OFF for 5 days! I am really looking forward to it. I really enjoy being home with my baby. He's just so adorable. Yesterday, the entire morning from the second he woke up till I went to work, he smelled just like my cabbage patch doll for some reason! It was insanely weird.

This morning I got a call from the number: 0-000-000-0000. Yep. weird.

Paul might be getting sick. He's coughing and sneezing a lot more than normal. I am praying it's just teething. Poor little guy.

I have not much to say today. I am looking forward to tomorrow when Paul and Chris go swimming and I go along for the pictures. Then in the evening, we are going out for dinner and a movie. I'm excited about that!

Anyways, that's all my news. Leave a note.

Hi

I have to go to work today, in a few hours actually. I'm not looking forward to it. I am going to talk to my supervisor and suggest that he move me to B's position when she leaves, bc its at the house I want, the hours that I want and the shifts I want. I think I would be a great addition there. So, I am going to suggest it to him..and see what he says. (He wants to move either DE or T to the house, but neither of them want to go, and it would involve, if they did go, changing the ENTIRE house schedual. If he lets me go there, he doesn't have to change a thing, except find someone to fill my position there, but he'd have to hire eventually anyways).

This morning, when we were eating breakfast, Chris was wearing the t-shirt Paul and I got for him for his birthday with a "baby paul" on the front. It was so funny b/c you could literally "see" Paul "seeing" the baby on the tshirt for the very first time. IT was SOOO cute. He perked up and lunged for Chris' shirt and was fingering the baby on the t shirt and smiling and talking to the baby on the shirt. TOOO cute.

Chris needs the vehicle tonight to do a client consult, so Paul and I are going to pick Chris up at work for 11:30 so he can take me to work. Fun times.

Gas prices here reached 1.20/L yesterday. I'm so mad. I hate this...its so damn expensive now. Rediculous. Next Wed I am going to get the oil changed in the truck before we leave for moms. Chris and I discussed it and it is more worth our while (mine actually) to leave after the oil change in the AM and drive to mom's instead of coming back here for Pauls nap then going. BC otherwise, I would not be getting to mom's till like 3pm and leaving within a few hours. This way, I will actually get to spend some time with Lisa and mom. SO that is what we are going to do :)

Anyways, I am off to the races.

Leave a note. haha.